Getting a sick note in Japan

Getting sick IN Japan can make you sick OF Japan! Since last Thursday I haven't been well and it really hit me over the weekend with what felt like a mix of food poisoning and the worst cold ever - otherwise known as the flu. So on Monday I did the unspoken in Japan and rang in sick, at which point I actually felt like I might die. The response I got from my school was over the phone directions of how to walk to the nearest doctor/hospital. Barely being able to stand I didn't pay much attention. By Wednesday I could get out of bed and tried to find this hospital. The directions took me to a pharmacy.
Standing in the pharmacy not even knowing the Japanese word for doctor, still feeling extremely rough I tried to convey what I was looking for. As they spoke no English they couldn't understand me and they found it quite funny (maybe it was a nervous thing) so I called the school again and asked my 'caretaker' to explain to them over the phone what I was looking for. My 'caretaker' who is an 'English teacher' couldn't understand me and continued to make bird like Japanese noises over the phone whilst I tried in simplest English to explain what I was asking her do. At which point with people laughing at me, making bird noises at me and feeling like I might faint......... I burst into tears.

Then everything stopped.

The pharmacy workers began running around getting out maps and tissues. My caretaker told me to calm down and go home.

A guy in the pharmacy drove me to the doctor and explained the whole ordeal to them in Japanese. Lots more pointing at my various body parts and I was sat down with a thermometer under my arm pit and a card to fill out to see the doctor. Relief.

Relief for all of 60 seconds.

I was called through to the doctor who spoke lots of Japanese at me....."nani nani nani cold nani nani nani influenza nani nani nani where do you come from nani nani nani injections ok"

So Im nodding going, yes I have the flu, yes I come from England and yes I had an injection for the flu in England (well, not really but I HATE injections and all I really wanted was a sick note for my school and get out of there). Next thing I know I'm being taken out of the cubicle and having long cotton buds pushed up my nose....and thats when it happened.....the needle came out.....OH CHRIST, I'm going to have an injection I think.....and look over my right shoulder so I can't see the needle. And thats when I realise what is really instore. A drip. Part of the room is partitioned off with people laying on hospital beds with drips going into their arm.
Now Im thinking, ESCAPE ESCAPE ESCAPE, but before I know it Im on the bed, with the drip bag of god only knows what, being prepared and my veins being prepped for the needle.
30 minutes later the drip has finished and Im feeling a little traumatized by the whole crying, translation, nose, drip experience and they are about to show me out the door.
Another 10 minutes of trying to say that what I really need is a note to show the school I have been sick so that the kind, caring people that they are don't use my holiday days for when I was absent.

Result....I've got the note. Who knew it would have been so easy as to just get lost, cry in a room of strangers, have your nose prodded and a drip!